PRAYER OF MERCY WHEN DARKNESS WISHES OTHER
Lord, you have graced me with life from a most beautiful woman,
Dorthea, Gift of God, into this world.
Thank you, I have felt your blessings of Peace and Love,
Your gift to me of the Arts and I have fought against every evil
And even good intentions to stay true to your command.
Why allow the curse of demons conjured into my life?
I know to both confront and to pray they find Grace and renounce
The fallen 4th Archangel by every means ever given to me by You.
I arose from the mighty sins of drugs and alcohol which both
Tried at different and same times to take me before my time.
Thank you dearest Christ for leading me from self-destruction
At the hands of a family curse and pray that darkness ends with me.
Often I argued with you; and asked why must I exorcise each curse
The Darkness lays upon me. I see others live in comfort and wish I could
As well, yet I was marked early in life with this ordeal.
Love will not hold me. My too many, yet in each one I found your
Ecstasy begging I leave before they may love me in return.
This wayward life. This Time I live. I have been through the terrible
Gates of Hell. I have twice died and revived. Seizures took me through
The Bardo of laughing dark angels and fallen souls,
And then you pressed on and I awoke bruised, cut, tiny holes in my arms,
And as I lay alone on the cold floors with froth from my mouth,
With wounds from my ordeal I never lost Faith that you gave these
As lesson to carry your Word. And so I praised you for this malady
Yet at the same time prayed you release the Devil’s grip,
Free me from the seizures where my head felt it explodes,
My visions rode like St Paul across my own known world.
How have I survived? Why have you given me so many chances?
Why have I felt abandoned when I most needed any Love?
I love you my Lord of Lords. The Trinity is my vision.
When death was brought upon me with Lyme’s, DDD, skin-cancer,
And then the threat of Leukemia!!? What was your design?
I cussed at you, I argued, I sat inside for two years because
My doctors ordered I could have no sun and could not drive.
The loneliness neat took me. My blessed Mother and a few friends
Showed time to time and helped me out of the margins of darkness.
St Padre Pio and St Raphael appeared before me. Who would understand?
I prayed, I begged intercessions and rosary from me and my loves
In your One True Church, they prayed, I prayed until my knees were scared.
One blood test and I was guaranteed death.
One week later my blood was cleansed.
Padre Pio’s woolen gloves were left in my rose garden. I was afraid.
My Southern soul considered
a past girlfriend I left simply to write and be alone
Had laid a root on me; then I saw them for whan
they were and did not touch them.
The doctor calls again that all is gone to their own amazement.
I said I pray the rosary,
Your nurse came in and asked what I was doing and I said I did not want to die.
You always drop me with others who lived the flirtations of Lilith, of demons,
As had I in my early years, middle years, and now again.
I understand your purpose Lord. I pray until my knees bleed
And my back bends in pain as I labor to form a new home.
I have read your blessings. Mounted your moment as the Pierced One
And filled it with waters from Lourdes and the Jordan where you
Were Baptized by the seemingly mad soon to be beheaded John
Of the wilderness, fasting, living on honey and unleavened crackers,
Give me the strength and your Love my Christ, and Savior
To again recognize when dread, luscious Lilith draws from the shades
And tempts this ascetic and traveler, yeah I know, I know,
But at times I wish I had a different life. I am fallen. I am a sinner.
I pray through the day to lift my soul, to show me Grace,
And then there it is your Gifts and Graces I have ignored.
Thank you for each day, for each moment, each conversation,
Each love, each kiss, and each time I eat after my day of fasting,
And I pray please remove each demon in my path,
I pray you heal my sister whose heart is much greater than my own,
I pray you heal the angry from shaking hammers at me
And th3en you remind me to love not to fight,
So I hugged him and said I love you, put down the hammer,
He began to shake with fear and anger, it was all I could do,
As you commanded me to cease fighting and to Love
To Love even in the face of harm and pass on your Grace.
I was sent running from my home when told the Law was on
They’re way to arrest me for trespassing as I cleaned my old home.
Each day I packed in the pouring rain. Each day I labored alone
Until you sent my good neighbor to my aide; thank you God
For his help as I am the Philistine, cursed to roam and be alone,
Yet not cursed and not alone; strange things, holy things, horrors
Have all come my way. I thank you for each and every one.
Pray save my sister. This is my prayer, my long intention.
She deserves life more than I who has walked in darkness and the light.
She has brought life and joy while I sinned and ran from death.
Pray. LOVE. HOPE. FAITH. COMPASSION.
H Lamar Thomas' Blog 