Zone Fever Dream Dreams Fever

This is something that ended up being pretty cool in spite of the need some people have of misreading and puling a quote out of context and arguing the same arguments human kind has had since their mouths formed intelligible sounds on war and peace use of guns and all. Melt those farming tools to make swords and all or was it the other way around? And so it has gone since our mouths and tongue formed words into language and said “War Bad, Kill Bad People who make War” and so we have since we first raised a fist in anger. All the cool destroyers and aircraft carriers in the world, and they are cool looking; like space age cool, look them up on youtube, it will amaze. But say the word gun today and people freak out, understandably; but there are also those of us who like to hunt for our food, and fish for the flavor of the pond, river and sea. Me, I like the dirt. I like what grows out of the dirt as I gave up meat six months ago for Lent and it stuck. I guess Jesus Christ and Buddha really do want me to follow the true and very rough road of going vegetarian. No reason beyond Lent when I felt the greatest death into Life has already occurred. Let the animals live. But it you like different meats then for it, for CLEAN meat not factory mess. So my stance confuses people, as it always has no matter how hard I try. I woman once sia d to me back 35 years just a few before I quit drinking, “you know, Lamar. I really like you and can understand you so much better when you have been drinking. You are not so “out there.”. And I’ve heard it at least once a week my entire life. Early in my life I tried dumbing down with hard, I mean the hardest drugs to destroy parts of my brain I did not want to have anymore. I should have just blew them off and walked on, but teenagers need friends and Chefs need to match foods to wines and at the time it was to matc my cool food to the cool food of California! It was wonderful. Alice Waters changed us all for the good. I eventually developed my own cuisine after my apprenticeship and I owe a great debt to Mendocino, the place I long to return. Turn the guns to plows and the mind to the earth, those were interesting years, I grew, then I quit drinking and I grew even more. Whatever. I’m just babbling after spending nearly 12 hours on an 11:59 minute concerto using Classic piano and Chinese classical instruments. it all relates. I believe. Some just have a blast insulting me as best they can and others toss in the Gideians for a nice swipe at my faith. Let me tell ya, if a person is intentionally trying to wear down or test or find fault in your faith are not fair friends. I’d rather return to silent prayer and loneliness. All this boring stuff said, they tried to defeat me in my felief that we have enough guns, people who want to hunt for food should, and rhetoricians are fine among themselves but not with me. My family thinks me a freak and then says oh no not that way. As the great American Transcendental philosophers William James, Ralph Waldo Emerson and most importantly the one who created pragmatism, Peirce. He started so many schools of thought and study that he was pushed aside. Poor guy ended up in his barn with a gun threatening to kill any who came near. His was a tortured life. Created so much before it became that vanguard that it drove him mad. There is a tiny section in Zone Fever Dream Dreams Fever that is a tribute to Charles Sanders Peirse. I really hope you enjoy this music. I was able to work on it and complete it in spite of a need to argue a point. I don’t know why, the argument has existed since before the Bible was a dream. Please do not hate. Seek peace. Turn from Evil. And really really do to others as you would to yourself. speak of others as you think they would speak of you, more good than bad that’s for sure. Life goes on, huh? So insult, indulge, do judge, do smear, do bait and hate. People do represent their religion no matter how many times the opposite is said in defense. I have been and I have observed, and I am not happy. The Arts will live, and even if I am a forgotten grave off of First Avenue then so be it. I have condemned my actions much more than any common nazi can. On top of this condemnation and disdain I still believe, I still have faith, love and hope. Even if I have “only been a  Catholic for a day”.