Someone so Beautiful I was afraid to write her as song or poem for half my life


Two days ago I was listening to music when all of a sudden as I was pulling into my driveway I became uncontrollably sad. It was odd and not so odd if one is blessed with the arts. The feeling was such that I just sat in the truck listening and feeling blue. Leonard Cohen blue except it was instrumental, and not the candy sound of Satie either. Just 10 minute of such sadness I began to cry. A man in a truck in his driveway suddenly in tears. I looked at my iPhone and it was a song I had written on my ex wife. I poured all the sadness and loss into this one instrumental. IT is in another place here in WP or SoundCloud, I am afraid to find it.

This song is the opposite. It was inspired yesterday by the song of Jupiter or Neptune, a planet. We’ve all heard the recordings of planets and it sounds a lot like songs of the humpback and blue whale. So, again with only wonder and love, I wrote bits here and there, programmed them into the MPD32, ancient but ancient like a classic stick shift Mercedes. The woman, Kim Chi, yeah it was a nickname half Korean half Swedish and I was simply me. We were coming out of evil fraught relationships and found such comfort and wonderfulness in one another that we could only be together a short time. It can be that way and I hate it, but understand as well. This music, extended and ethereal with bits of action here and there was how we melted into one another. And how we also just as organically washed away into the cold Pacific.

It’s an extended moment of when Kim, woman who captured my heart as well as could be done at the time, when we were naked laying in the part of the Elk River when it was more of stream, looking for salamanders and newts, any funny looking living thing in those pure ,clean pebble bottomed waters.. The magic of that weekend has stayed with me for half my life, And how I have tried to describe it so it sounded more than a sex fueled happiness, it was simply happiness. We were free in each others arms knowing it was for the time that it was as we were both stepping out of disastrous relationships and suddenly here was this person with whom we perfectly matched, but fear tore that in half. So we lasted as long or as less an amount ot time as we needed.

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